Friday, November 6, 2009

without saying goodbye

I know I promised myself I wouldn't go online today, but I couldn't help it; it's too boring in my room. I should be working on my Kumon worksheets, and I even bought a special dustless eraser to prove that I'm serious about it, but when I actually faced the papers, I felt the sudden urge to do something less productive but fun. It sucks being alone in your dorm room; even a loner realizes that after a week of having no one to talk to properly. Worse, the pasalubong I got for my roommates and for the dorm's pasafest has expired. Why does pastel have to perish so soon, anyway?

I thought that since the sem hasn't started yet, tonight would be the perfect opportunity to meet up with the rest of PC over a hearty dinner. Bad news: Roshan's trying to get her diver's license (and yes, diver's not driver's), Tichang is with her mom, Nina has gone back to Davao, and Sunshine has gone back to Batangas for the last time before sem starts. That leaves just Jumpel and me in UP - and 'dinner' with just two out of six doesn't sound right at all.

So, we've postponed it. To next week. Which means I'll be eating tapsilog all by myself again.


If this week's biggest realization were a quote, it would be:

"Go often to the house of thy friend for weeds soon choke the unused path."

It's sad, because, I have a friend who I care for dearly, although, being somewhat self-centered, I don't tend to show affection most of the time. Because of this, despite our degree of closeness in years past, we have gone - er - shall we say, separate ways. It's sad. She's left on a jetplane without even saying she'd be leaving. I kind of blame myself because it was my fault;I had said some rather tactless things, and thinking that she would understand my tactlessness and sheer stupidity, I didn't apologize properly. After that incident, we never talked again.

The saddest part is, her mother once told me that her daughter, once convinced of someone's sincerity, will never leave that person's side. I guess, I have been weighed, measured, and found severely wanting.

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