i smell something fishy... love is in the air

I've never been the type to hate couples who go all lovey-dovey in front of me. I've never entertained thoughts along the lines of "Pleeease, spare me a migraine and get a room", because every time I feel awkward due to overt displays of affection, I just turn the other cheek and pretend I (yes, I) don't exist. Recently though, I've felt a bit uncomfortable with every mention of the word love - or each implied reference to it...

Scratch uncomfortable. Maybe irritated is the right term for it.

It all started last night - picture me having dinner with a good friend, chatting over our identical set meals about her love life. Honestly, I was feeling very happy then; although I felt sick (and I knew I was going to be bed-ridden the next day) I felt strangely happy that she was seriously in love. Not in crush or in like or delusional - as most people whose love stories I overhear are - but truly, madly, deeply in love. And even after we had gone our separate ways, I was still feeling elated to discover that there was still a bit of love in the world.

Then this morning, I woke up to a headache and a clogged nose. I told myself I'd skip both Econ classes for the day and turn up for my 5:30 - 7PM PolSci 160 class - then, I turned to Lavinia for comfort and ended up working on the next FnQ issue. When I got tired of doing layout work, I decided to start on the personal Valentine's Day project I had concocted some days ago, a sort of love stories compilation featuring one story or poem or song per day leading to Valentine's.

And that's how I spent my entire morning - classifying love songs, editing love stories, searching for cheesy poems. All in the spirit of LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. And it didn't make me happy at all.

Skip a few hours - I'm in a classroom in AS, wiping my nose with a handkerchief while my teacher is talking about her marriage. Admittedly, I found her story funny - and I found myself wishing I'd find someone I'd love as much as she loves her husband. But then, I dunno, when I got out of the classroom, I began feeling down again. Even after I had read the first two chapters of Kare Kano no Jijou, I was still feeling down.

It's been four years since I fell in love. Although I'm perfectly content with my life right now (although I wish I'd show some signs of intelligence through my UPG once in a while) I'm currently feeling resentful towards love. I don't understand why. Is it because I'm not in love? I doubt being in love is the answer.