Thawing

For the longest time, I've been nursing a numb heart. I don't know how it became so frigid, but I hardly attribute it to the scarring prison lock-down that was high school. I'm not even talking about an inability to love romantically - I'm referring to an inability to feel compassion, an inability to care about things that move normal people. Undoubtedly, it's benefited me on the whole. I've learned how to listen to my friends' problems without batting an eyelash, offering possible courses of action, and how to bounce-back almost immediately from any roadblock. More than once, I've heard people call me strong. And it felt good, knowing deep down, that nothing could touch me. Because only a handful of things in my life mattered.

Lately though, I've been getting a bit emotional again. I'm not sure why either, but the feelings suddenly just shot up, until I realized my heart was functioning properly once more. I became capable of relating to movies Mary likes, movies like Never Let Me Go and stuff. Watching Skins, my strongest response wasn't my typical 'I'm-so-lucky-I-live-a-normal-life' kneejerk - I actually felt sad for the series' characters. And reading Beneath the Lilac Tree by archangelBBQ on FFNet, I felt moved instead of insecure and jealous.

What is happening to me? Why am I becoming human?