The Quezon City Sampler - for Idiots

Because of my twin graduation ceremonies - which are honestly more trouble than they're worth - I've been wracking my brain recently for convenient places to bring my CDO-based relatives to. Venues that are wholesome enough - because my father and my uncle are going to be there, never mind the fact that I don't much fancy partay partay places - without being boring. And I've realized, after showing a big guy from high school around the city just yesterday, that I don't know a lot of these 'entertaining' places. Hence, this crazy attempt at making boring places more interesting to normal people.

To clarify, I am not from Quezon City. Just in case you, dear non-existent reader, didn't get that from the previous paragraph. [I am in no way undermining your intelligence. It's just that I have a natural talent for making myself difficult to understand.]

Touring Tactic #1

Pretend that you want to buy 20peso veggie noodle packs from Cubao Ex. Admittedly, the place isn't as glamorous as it used to be some years ago, but it's still got that old-world - albeit non-dilapidated - feel that you don't get from most Manila spots. (And yes, I will refer to Metro Manila as Manila, so suck it, irrationally OC editing freaks.) For girls, you've got Heima, an interior decorating center. It's all bright and all neon-colored, plus conveniently cute AND practical. For guys, well, you've got lots of drinking hubs. And for me, you've got that shop with lots of cat figurines. Pure bliss. Meow.

Touring Tactic #2

Offer to take guest to Star City or Enchanted Kingdom, and later retract your offer by saying both places are too far for your geographically-challenged brain. Propose a night trip to the Circle of Fun at QC Memorial Circle instead - hint that you've heard the haunted house is convincing, depending on who's manning the ghost props. If you're lucky, you might catch the dancing fountain actually dancing - to the tune of whichever local band or pseudo-orchestra is playing in the plaza. And then, maybe you can walk around. Just don't stay there too late.

Touring Tactic #3

Admit that you haven't explored Vargas Museum as much as you should have, being from the area, after all. Try to time your visit with the free-entrance days, but even if you can't be bothered to do so, the fees aren't all that high anyway. After your dose of artsy-fartsy goodness, sit down in the Sunken Garden and - on weekday mornings when people are too busy to play - contemplate your existence amidst the presence of carabao grass, or - during afternoons or weekends - look for your personal epitome of attractiveness, preferably someone who can actually handle a frisbee or a soccer ball.

Touring Tactic #4

Slyly slip in the little detail that Trinoma's supermarket won an international award for - er - floor design. Fool your guest into thinking that the grocery section is actually worth taking a peek at, because they have a wide range of food stocks, and their seedless oranges cost half the price of the oranges at a certain rival mall. After that, say that you want to visit Comic Alley, only you can't remember where it is, so you might have to walk around in search of it. Pretend the concierge, the guards, and the cleaning personnel don't exist. Stroll leisurely around the chaotic, supposedly post-modern corridors of Trinoma, and point out boutiques you're positive don't exist in most malls. Like, "OOOH, look, they have a shop where you can make your own stuffed animal, how cute is that?"

And blargh. I'm afraid those are all the mediocre happy zones I can rant off right now. And no, those aren't suited just for guests who are crazy like me. I mean, if I were to write to myself about places in Quezon City I actually wish to be taken to, I'd write SM Fairview first, hands down. [Fairview is in Quezon City, right?]