Kanashimi

Don't feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them.

Imagine waking up to a Facebook post like this. Imagine realizing how painfully accurately it sums up my current days. Recently, though they've never really said it to my face, people have started giving up on me one by one. And although, in my mind, I tell myself they just didn't know me well enough, sometimes I wonder if they were right for dumping me. Emotional investment, time investment, financial investment into our relationship and all.

Talk about another pity party, which is probably what this whole blogging experience has been, three years and counting.

Losing a friend is worse that struggling to get over a breakup. I don't need statistics or opinions of other people to prove that; I know it to be true. When you end things with a boyfriend, it just means you tried to get along, tested your chemistry, only it turned out you weren't right for each other. When you have a falling out with a friend, it only means you were once perfect together, and then a few years later you're just not. That pretty much sucks.

I wonder if people really are supposed to come in and out of other people's lives without warning, leaving 'just when you need them most' as that ballad goes. Is it just me? Do I have a one-year lease on friendship where I make best friends awfully quickly and then lose them after a few months of daily texting, daily three-hour conversations, daily prayers that go, "I hope you take care of her the way I know I can't"? And you can't even tell them how much they matter to you, because you never fully realize important details like that until they're gone. 

I hate being cheesy. Cheese is for Hollywood. Cheese shouldn't exist in real life. Movies aren't funny when the plot pitches you for its star.